An Autumn update - high highs & low lows
It's been a while…
And I don't feel great about it.
After a year of weekly emails & blog posts to go with them, created based on input from you & written with love & care… you might have noticed that things have been pretty quiet around here the last month or so.
Now I thought I'd just start writing again, with a how-to, or advice post, but actually I want to talk a bit more honestly about why you haven't heard from me in a a couple of months, coz in this online world it's so easy to forget that we're all humans having a human experience (and although, I'm not planning to start a barrage of lifestyle content - just in case your finger's hovvering over the cross) I wanted to let you know what's been going on behind the scenes, coz it’s been a time of high highs & low lows.
Trigger warning: Pregnancy loss
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Let’s rewind a moment
I don’t think I can talk about the last few months without stepping back to the beginning of the year, so let’s rewind a moment. 2022 was an intense year!
We (finally) got married, after our 2020 wedding was, well, a 2020 wedding !! So after 3 years in the making, we got the change to celebrate with our family & friends in a beautiful chateau in the West of France.
My web design business went from - I don’t know whether this is gonna work/ what I’m doing/ how to run a business to - more successful than I could have ever imagined, but more busy & chaotic behind the scenes too!
We took 4 months of vacation to travel in Europe after 2 years of being locked down
I got a gig working for a course creator on the side of Rising Tide Creatives
And I had my first miscarriage.
The whole year was a whirlwind, and I entered 2023 with the intention of…
Calm - slowing things down, restructuring my offer to make it work better for me & the rhythm I wanted to live my life in
Consistency - specifically around content creation & cultivating my wonderful email list. I pledged to create a blog post & email at least weekly
Health - bringing my physical & emotional health back to being a priority after a tumultuous few years
And, Looking back I have to say I’ve been mostly successful at those things… mostly, but not completely. But before we get to that, let’s look at the successes!
2023 - The highs
I got really ahead with my content creation, and have seen it pay dividends! My organic traffic has more than tripled & I now have well over 2000 visitors to my site every month, and it’s growing all the time. I love seeing the work I’ve put in over the last 2 years of content creation paying dividends, and supporting so many people, be it via a blog post, my ebook, a guide, or an email exchange, the greatest joy, way beyond the numbers, are the connections that this has allowed me to make.
See my organic search results increasing - impressions, position & clicks all on the up this year!
I got featured in a list of the top Squarespace Website Designers. It was such a proud moment to be recognised on the sort of list I used to look at & think “if only”! I’ve realised that through my work, the wide ranging experience I now have, the content I create & expertise that I show that I’m now known in the sector. The Helen that started this biz with a website for a mate a few years ago, would be so very proud of that!!
My VIP days have taken off & they’re my new great love! Not familiar? We knock out a one-page website (or a refresh of an existing site) in a day - boom! They’ve allowed a bunch of small businesses to get online with a professional site they can be proud of in record quick time & I’ve just absolutely loved every single one of them!
We had a fabulous 3 months in Europe again, with lots of quality time with friends & family annndd a trip to the rugby world cup to watch England play (sorry France!!) It wasn’t 100% straight forward, but I feel so very grateful to have a business that lets us move to where we want, when we want without being tied to a physical office.
Here are a few highlights!
We bought a house! Yep as I write this, I’m 2 days into being a homeowner with my husband! Our little nest is perched on top of a hill looking across the bays that cut into the East Coast of Martinique in the French Caribbean & we couldn’t feel luckier!! We have a long renovation project ahead of us, but getting the keys & having our first glass of champers on the balcony was a true “we’re home” moment.
Here’s the view from our new “chez nous”!
2023 - The Lows
It’s been kinda lonely out here some of the time. Working from home, in a place where I the lingo isn’t my mother tongue (code for saying I’m not super interesting in French haha!) has meant it’s been tricky not to feel disconnected & lonely sometimes. I’ve often felt like I’d just like to teleport my friends across for dinner, or a glass of vino & sadly despite alll of the tech advancements that have been coming at us like a tsunami, that’s still not possible. A big focus RN is making time to make a great new network where I live now.
Balancing work & family isn’t always easy! The downside of being able to work from anywhere, is that it’s hard to be clear about what’s vacay time & what’s work time. During the time in Europe, it was really tricky at times to be clear with friends and family that I actually still needed to be working, and same goes when we have visitors here - not being able to “go to the office” means juggling other people’s expectations with what I need to get done for work. I’m still working this one through - so any tips, send ‘em my way!
Buying a house in the Caribbean isn’t a straight forward matter! Buttt the less said about that the better! We’ve got the keys in our hands now & we’re very grateful for it!!
The Lowest Low & why I’ve been mIA
And that all brings me to the lowest low, and why things have been quiet round these parts. In September on a plane back from Mallorca (that’s a story for another time) I had a second miscarriage.
Losing the very much longed for baby who would have been born in Spring 2024 was not only physically traumatic, it’s brought a great sadness too.
And all of my best laid plans - the content I’d created, or had planned to create, the emails I’d planned to send & new projects I wanted to start - well, I just didn’t feel like doing them, sending them, or engaging with anyone. And so once my pre-scheduled content ran out, well, I just stopped.
I prioritised looking after the clients of the projects I had already in the calendar, I rejigged a few meetings which everyone was wonderfully understanding about, but anything more than that felt like too much.
Which is the downside of running your own business. When things get tough, or life happens as it has a habit of doing, there isn’t a manager who tells you to go take a week or two & look after yourself. There isn’t sick pay. There isn’t an office therapist.
So even though it was all planned, I didn’t do it. Expecting it to be a pause of a week or two. But now almost 3 months down the line, these are the first words I’ve written. And I had the feeling they needed to be honest ones, ones that explained my absence & didn’t just pass over it, so that I can now move on, and finish the year with the kind of consistent, high quality content, connection & community that was such a cornerstone of 2023 until that point.
The gifts I’m taking with me…
Like anything that happens, there are many precious gifts I’ve taken from the experience…
It’s easy to hide behind a digital identity. But I’m a human, just like you are (unless you’re a dog, in which case make sure to hit me up - I’ve always wanted to meet a pup that reads my blogs!) and sharing our humanness is important.
I’ve always been all or nothing - with exercise, diet, work in fact anything. And so when my intention to do a whole year of weekly content went out of the window, old me would have just said forget it until next year. But actually there’s no reason to throw my plans out of the window - I’m here & I’m excited to start again, and end the year on a high.
Pregnancy loss continues to be taboo. Or if people do speak about it, it’s often after they have a healthy baby in their arms. Which is understandable because then, even though it’s often still deeply painful, it’s “in the past”. But for all the people out there who are still on the path to being parents, with all the uncertainty that entails - it can be lonely, not knowing how many others are walking the same path. I’ve chosen to share my experience, even though I don’t know if there’ll be a happy ending, just in case it helps one person feel less alone. And because it feels good to be open & honest about what’s going on for me.
I still need to work on boundaries, for myself and others when it comes to my business & life. But to do that I need to reflect more on what I want these to be - so that’s a work in progress, like most things!
I’m writing this here, feeling grateful & hopeful for the weeks to come as 2023 comes to a close, which is very timely given we’re coming up to Thanksgiving for the Americans reading this, being thankful is such a lovely feeling & I’m choosing that right now.
So if you got all the way to the end - thank you for being a part of this great adventure !
And if ever you find yourself feeling disconnected in this online world that can feel so sterile at times, know you can be a human too, and by doing so you often give other people permission to do the same.
